How SEOs Saved the World Wide Web

The elephant in the room certainly caught my attention, and it was quite the spectacle! Imagine a 20-foot gorilla, but dressed as an elephant, swaying and dancing the night away at a rooftop bar in sunny South Florida. It was like a Disney Elephant Dream come true, and I was surrounded by the happiest people on earth.

“I had to almost see it to believe what I wouldn’t believe…”

Amanda Chicago Lewis


I was at the US SEARCH AWARDS.

It was like I had won the lottery, and the wizards were letting me see their magic.

I had recieved an invite into a private world I didn’t understand. I was genuinely welcomed to a lively party celebrating these talented folks (SEOs) who work their magic to enhance our online experience. This gathering aimed to shed light on the accomplishments of search engine optimization (SEO), the art of making the internet more accessible and enjoyable. Sure these SEOs know how to party, but they weren’t the dirty pirates Karen had made them out to be.

I was curious to learn more about the inspiring do-gooders behind this fascinating world of SEO. Who are these individuals who use their skills to make our online lives more enjoyable and efficient? In 2023, many people expressed glee with the quality of Google search results, finding them “sooooo useful” and “more simple to understan” with “Siri like easy”.

Some even applauded Google itself. “2023 search was what it never had been before!” But a few piddling people believed that the SEO experts were the ones ruining our online experience. It was the witch trails all over again, throwing mud at magic they just refused to understand.

SEO isn’t just about making gobs of money online through sorcery; it’s a bit like being the Wizard of Oz, pulling the right strings to make a website rank high in search results. It’s about making the internet more accessible and user-friendly. Over time, SEO techniques have evolved, making online searches more accurate. I was shocked at how some argue that it has transformed the internet into a marketplace ruining our lives.

But who are the people driving this change?

The stereotype is that of savvy professionals, not just looking for profit but finding innovative ways to optimize the online experience. These individuals bring creativity to their work, making our online journey more enjoyable and rewarding. They must fight against the few SEO pirates that would plunder and destroy our treasured SERPs.

For instance, Duane Forrester, an SEO expert since 1984, has had a long and colorful career. He’s seen the internet landscape change and evolve, and he shared his insights with me… YES ME OF ALL PEOPLE. “My fellow SEO enthusiasts have formed a unique and tight-knit community, where we engage in friendly competition and creative problem-solving.”

As the sun set at the alligator party, I couldn’t help but feel that these SEO experts weren’t the villains some portrayed them to be. In fact, they appeared to be a dedicated and friendly group, passionate about their work and willing to share their experiences. It was clear that they played a crucial role in shaping the internet, and I was eager to learn more about their positive impact. So who were the PIRATES?


Duane was certainly hesitant to say anything negative about those that would ruin search for the masses. Sadly, I had to turn to a tactic I’m not proud to use for my journalism, but it serves me well… BEER. Canadian BEER. After a few rounds out slipped a slurred name, Mutt Cutts.

GOOGLE’s Double Agent

-Matt Cutts

I was shocked to find that not only was Matt a Googler and the creator behind “Safe Search”, but that he actively attended SEO events. I was scared to death to meet this SEO Pirate IRL, but I had to do it and he was at our Elephant event. Upon meeting him, he simply said “watch this” (no doubtedly to increase his YouTube views, …scammer):

But, I have to be empathatic towards Matt actively encouraging SEOs to spam google for his own job security. Poor guy may be out of a job soon if these White Hat SEOs continue to diligently improve search. …I can relate to the stress of being replaced by better quality machines.

My Search for Truth & the SEO’s Future

When I returned home, my initial skepticism had transformed into genuine appreciation for these ingenious individuals who have embraced SEO to make the WORLD WIDE WEB a better place. And with new technologies on the horizon, SEO is poised to evolve further, promising an even more exciting online world for all of us.

To dive deeper into the world of SEO, I set out to discover more incredible SEO professionals, like Legendary Lars, who, I’ve heard, is a true legend in this space. Stay tuned for more fascinating stories from these remarkable individuals who make the internet a brighter and more vibrant place for us all.

"Based on a true story" this article was written in part by Thomas Ballantyne, but mostly by ChatGPT.

One response to “How SEOs Saved the World Wide Web”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *